At least the surgery is “hip”

I have discovered that getting ready for surgery is a lot like getting ready to go on vacation. I’m having arthroscopic hip surgery  tomorrow morning (see Foot Flushing post from earlier this year), and I’ve had so much to do to get ready. I’ve caught up on laundry, cleaned the house, and stocked up with plenty of reading material. The Actuary and the Evil Genius cleaned the downstairs floors (I don’t care what the upstairs floors look like; I won’t be climbing stairs for awhile) and went to the grocery store, and I made sure the cat has plenty of food and kitty litter.

I do the same thing when I go on vacation – clean the house, stock up on books, do laundry, etc. The similarities end there, however. I’ll be coming home to crutches, a strange device to wear on my leg that stimulates movement (to prevent scar tissue), and pain pills. If I came home from a vacation with those kinds of souvenirs, I’d probably never leave the house again.

Our refrigerator is already filling up with meals from friends. A women’s Sunday School class is probably the one of the best means to ensure a family has plenty of food when someone is sick or injured. Although we’re covered for dinner for several days, the Evil Genius picked up some salmon to grill for his lunches. When I was his age, I think the extent of my cooking was grilled cheese sandwiches. He also arranged his own transportation to and from swim practice for the mornings.

I haven’t finished all my projects, but I’ll have to channel my inner Type B personality and work on them when I can. I’ll probably stay off social media while I’m under the influence of Percocet.

This surgery is extremely inconvenient, but at least I have a “hip” surgeon for “hip” surgery. I’ll post an update when I’m off the pain meds.










Pinterest – Where Self-Esteem Goes to Die

I discovered the joys of Pinterest a few months ago and went a bit crazy creating boards and pinning things to them. I’ve used recipe pins the most, but that doesn’t keep me from pinning craft ideas to a board I named “I Can Make This!” I’ve had some success with the recipes but haven’t had time to make any of the crafts I’ve pinned.

One of my friends recently pinned a great craft idea.  So, like a true Pinterest phanatic, I repinned it along with a similar craft because it included a tutorial. Making crafts does not come naturally to me, so the more instructions I have, the better, especially if the instructions have photos.

I opened the tutorial pin, and the very first sentence started out something like this:

While my baby was napping, I thought I would create a tutorial for those of you who have been asking how I make my craft masterpieces.

I may have slightly exaggerated the end of the sentence, but she clearly stated that she was using her baby’s nap time to work on crafts or to prepare tutorials for those of us who suffer from craft-impairment.

Maybe I’m jealous, but I spent my babies’ nap times either taking my own nap, taking a shower, figuring out what to cook for dinner, doing laundry, or crashing in front of Oprah to decompress from puke, poop, or crying jags (mine or the babies’). Not only did she post instructions, but she included photos of each step. WHILE HER BABY WAS NAPPING!!

I initially thought I was somehow letting womankind down because of my inability to make cute crafts or do other noteworthy tasks while my babies napped. Even though my children are now mostly self-sufficient, I still can’t manage to get all my duck (butts) in a row and have the time or inclination to create wall art or the t-shirt quilt I’ve repinned.

Chatty instructional blogs drive me crazy. The technical editor in me would keep the directions and photos and leave out the fluff. I feel the same way about food blogs. As the great philosopher Joe Friday from Dragnet used to say, “Just the facts, ma’am.”

In the meantime, I’ll stick to making Pinterest recipes and repinning cute dogs, cats, and owls. By the way, I named my owl board “Call Me Owl.” Cute, huh?